Metagamers

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Metagamers

Postby Nox » Sat Oct 19, 2013 6:30 am

Baron von Nacht cackles as he stomps with his leather boot on the red button that will ensure Gwyll's doom. "HAHAHAHAHAH! YES! Finally, the amazing sorceress Gwyll is within my clutches!"
Baron von Nacht points to the candle on the far end of the enormous underground metal room they're in, "Soon, ze candle will burn zis rope, which will set loose ze robot monkey! And when ze robot monkey falls on ze lever, ze mechanism will pull from zat string which will turn on ze saw that will cut zis other rope and let you fall in ze dreadful pit of ACID!"

Gwyll rolls her eyes, "Yes yes...If we could just hurry this along...Or maybe you could just report your findings to me so I can just get back to the Fey."
Nox. pulls up the helmet and peers at her from behind the scarf, "You're not even trying, Gwyll."
Gwyll sighs and says in a deadpan voice, "Oh no. Help. I'm doomed."
Nox. rolls his eyes, "Just try to stay in-character, okay?" And he fixes his costume again so he's the mighy BARON
OF THE NIGHT once more.

Baron von Nacht says, "And then I! Ze terrible BARON VON NACHT shall rule ze Faerie FOREVAH!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!".

Gwyll sighs and mutters, "...Fine." Then acts in earnest, speaking in a sterotypical Southern Belle accent, "Oh Help help! Someone save me!"
Baron von Nacht says, "NONE will save you NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAH---cough, cough! Ahem. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He then tiptoes towards her, and whispers, "Ze candle! Blow out ze candle... !".
Gwyll takes a deep breath, looking like she'll scream again, then blows the candle out.
Baron von Nacht puts his paws on his cheeks, "No! What happened to ze lights! Goons, on me! Turn ze candle back
on so the sorceress's ruin may be RESUMED! Quick! Before she unties zat very loose knot around her ankle and uses her levitation powers to float to a safe place where she might make me pay for my WICKED doing!"

Gwyll grins in the dark, shaking her head and undoes the knot, levitating up and out of sight of...Baron Von Nacht.
Baron von Nacht is ZE Baron von Nacth! As his gas-mask-wearing orc minions turn ze light back on, the Baron turns
towards ze DREADFUL POOL OF ACID above which Gwyll hung... and she's not zere anymore! "NO! Blasted minions,
you took too long! Ze sorceress has ESCAPED!"

Baron von Nacht waves his Magnastaff around, "Find her! Find her and bring her to ze Baron's THRONE ROOM!"
Gwyll floats up high, grinning and wondering what kind of weird kink she's helping Nox with
Baron von Nacht stomps off the acid chamber, walking towards his throne room.
Gwyll looks down and floats above the pit, wondering how much trouble she'd be in for launching magic down at them.
Nox. voice-overs, "Okay. You're alone in the empty acid chamber. Here you can see the Baron's infernal contraption, there are some gold pieces scattered on the floor, and some important-looking papers on a desk by the east."
Nox. says, "There's two exits from this chamber: to the south, where the Baron stomped off, and to the west, probably leading back to the armory.".

Gwyll nods, "Um...I want to float down and get the gold."
Gwyll says, "That's a move?".

Nox. checks his paper, "Technically you're on the same square, so... no? Let's try it. Just float down and tell me if you feel like you've got any less move."
Gwyll floats down, but moves a bit to the side to avoid the pit, "No, that felt like a shift. So I have full move?"
Nox. voice-overs, "Yeah. Okay! You pick up five gold and an octagon-shaped ruby. You realize it matches the slot in
the Baron's great door!"
Nox. then doubts out loud, "Or, wait, maybe that's a Smarts check... ah, wahtever, you already know."

Gwyll says, "Is it meta to ask which way the door was again?".
Nox. hmphs, "You've been stuck in this part of the dungeon for like an hour now! If you don't remember I'm not going to tell you."
Gwyll groans, "...I do a smarts check to force memory." She lifts her hand an in a puff of smoke a giant d20 appears abover her hand. It rotates wildly before she hops and punches it.
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 10
Gwyll says, "So...ten, plus my smartifier...so...17".

Nox. says, "...wait, let me see that smartifier thing again!".
Baron von Nacht waves his fist in the air in his throne room, "Blasted random loot table!"
Nox. mumbles, "Okay, you realize it's to the south. It's the Baron's throne room's door."
Gwyll says, "But the armory's the the west...".
Gwyll rubs her ear, "....I move West."

Nox. hms. "Okay then... you walk through a dimly lit steel and concrete corridor. Red banners with black fomorian
crosses dot the walls around you. There's a locked, wholly uninteresting door to your left.. and finally you reach the Baron's armory. As you look around you notice that the place has been emptied! All the techie aircraft and tanks have left during the time you spent captured. The invasion has begun! Only one rackety old plane remains in the hangar."

Baron von Nacht speaks through one of the enormous screens on ze walls. "Gwyll! I know you're hiding somewhere in my fortress. Well, you might've realized by now that my forces are on ze move, and it's TOO LATE TO STOP THEM!
Mwahahahahahahah!"
Baron von Nacht says, "Ze Twin Courts will soon fall, and you'll be to blame!".
Baron von Nacht cackles once more, before the screen flickers off.

Gwyll smirks at the screens, "That seems a little like an anachronism, Nox...Oh well." She continues to the armory.
Nox. says, "Don't be ridiculous. You've obviously never been to the old fomorian fortresses, you wouldn't believe the stuff they've got in there. And it's all mana-powered.".
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 16
Gwyll rolls her eyes, "Sure sure....Locationism roll for loot in the armory."
Gwyll pops the dice again, "Woo! 16 plus...That's not the same as Smartism, right? Different stat?"

Nox. sounds outraged, "It's Smarts! And yes, you use your Smarts bonus for Loot rolls and... pretty much any roll that's not combat or Ego."
Gwyll says, "So that's still the seven? Awesome.".
Nox. sighs, "So... twenty... two? Twenty three. Okay, you find fifty gold, a badass swastika, and a short blade +2.
And, within a desk in front of a large empty platforms, you find the plans for Brunhild, the Baron's personal tank!"

Gwyll blows a raspberry, "I can't use this sword! I can only use maces and staves without penaties!" She does take the gold and the plans. "Smartism for finding a kink in the armor of the tank."
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 18
Gwyll says, "HA! Twenty five!".

Nox. says, "It's called Smarts! And yes, you find there's a... uh... place where the screws are probably lose, or something. Anyway. If you hit the spot there's a 50% chance the whole thing will fall into disassembled pieces.".
Gwyll grins, "Yessss."
Nox. says, "Right. There's nothing else of value here. You can go east to the room with the pool of acid, south to the engineering wing, or north to the previous level.".
Gwyll says, "Ooh an Engineering Ward? South south!".
Nox. can be heard turning a few pages, "Okay, you walk down some long, spiral stairs into the depths of the metal fortress. The smell of... hang on... 'industry and progress fills your nostrils and makes you imagine you're in the bowels of Technology's Vanguard'... when did I write this? Anyway, horrible smell. Lots'a smoke. You are surrounded by beating, living machines. Huge hoses feed mana directly into the machinery, which heaves and sizzles as it keeps powering the Baron's hellish fortress..
Nox. says, "...and his weapons.".

Gwyll nods, "Oh wait a sec, didn't I say my character has some kind of aversion to heavy smoke? Does that apply here?"
Nox. says, "Oh, right!"
Gwyll says, "What does that minus?".
Nox. more pages rustle, "Hang on, I'm trying to find it... "
Nox. says, "...wait, you have an aversion to smoke? Out of character I mean.".

Gwyll says, "No, I just thought it'd be a cool character trait.".
Nox. hrms, "Okay, I think I've got it. You get a penalty on Sense checks 'cause of your watering eyes, and you can't perform any action with the Run special."
Gwyll says, "Wait, not even Run from panic or to escape?".
Nox. says, "It doesn't say... well, I suppose I could let you run in panic, but then you wouldn't see where you're going and you'd be at my mercy.".
Gwyll nods, "Fair." She starts going down the path, "I'm going to crouch down the stairs. Does that give me anything?"
Nox. ponders that, and finally declares, "Nope."
Nox. says, "Wait. Make a Sense roll. Minus 4.".

Gwyll says, "Sensatizing roll.".
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 9

Nox. sighs.
Nox. says, "So, what's the total? Minus 4, eh!".

Gwyll says, "So...Nine, plus four, minus four.".
Gwyll says, "Nine.".

Nox. winces...
Baron von Nacht 's fortress is a wicked place, filled with traps for the unwary. As Gwyll crouches and crawls down the stairs, she inadvertently sets off a pressure plate. A loud alarm starts ringing, flashing with a red light!
Gwyll frowns, "Aw dammit, really?" She looks down the stairs, "I wanna cast Gale to blow the smoke away from the stairs!'
Nox. can be heard rolling his dice, "Mmkay, do it."
Gwyll lifts her staff, shouting in an echoy voice, "Gale!"
Nox. rolls more dice. "Hang on a second... "
Gwyll keeps her staff raised, just waiting.
Baron von Nacht 's gas-masked orc goons surround Gwyll! As her spell blows the smoke off, they become visible, wearing baggy diving suits and weilding blades and wrenches. Three fall down the stairs, knocked over by the spell, while the other four attack!
Nox. says, "Okie, roll for Starters!".
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 18
Gwyll pops the dice when it appears above her head, "Woo-hoo!"

Baron von Nacht would be yelling at his goons if he could see them. The orcs, surprised by the sudden spell, stare for a moment at Gwyll - giving her enough time for first strike!
Nox. says, "Y'know, you can kiss the Director if you wanna deal extra damage...".
Nox. rolls dice, "I'm just throwing that out there."

Gwyll laughs, "Lemme save it for one of those critical failtalies. I cast Maelstrom on Baggy Battle Orc 1, 2, 3, and 4 if it's within range."
Nox. says, "Yeah I imagined. Orc #2 made his save, but you get the other three.".
Nox. says, "I... don't quite remember what Maelstrom did.".

Gwyll laughs, "Damage and shove."
Baron von Nacht 's minions cry as the magical force smashes them, sending them flying in all directions.
Nox. rolls dice.
Baron von Nacht 's machines have to make some effort to keep working, as one of the orcs is forced into the gears, and SPLATTERS in blood and bone!
Gwyll says, "Aw yeah! Gibs!".
Baron von Nacht 's other two goons stand up though, albeit heavily damaged. The third orc raises its wrench and Charges against Gwyll with a battle cry! "BLITZKRIEG!"
Baron von Nacht rolls 1d20: 13
Gwyll says, "Okay what do I do here.".
Nox. mutters, "He's got no bonuses, the idea is that these guys see normally in the smoke 'cause of their googles and that gives 'em adventage... so it's a raw thirteen." He can be heard moving as he leans over, "You gotta compare it to your Defense score here. If it's the same or higher, you're hit, otherwise you dodge or parry or something like that."
Nox. says, "Man, you're so pretty up close... "

Gwyll rifles through her sheets, grinning and shoving his face away, "Um...looks like I'm a 16."
Gwyll says, "So boom, dodges.".

Baron von Nacht useless lackey misses! The other two stand up, but rather than attack, they run towards a huge lever they start trying to pull...
Gwyll says, "Ooh ooh ooh! They're running away! That's opportunity, right?".
Nox. says, "Naw, they're like on the other side of the room. You blew them away with your spell remember?".
Gwyll says, "I thought I gibbed those guys.".
Gwyll says, "Oh well, I cast Fireball at the Orc that is attacking me, then I want to use an action point to throw a Magic Mine at the guys at the lever.".

Nox. says, "No no no, just this one guy, here. Which reminds me I forgot to take him out...".
Baron von Nacht 's dead lackey's remains go poof, and the yellow experience meter above Gwyll's head fills a little bit more.
Gwyll says, "Woo woo! Experimeter!".
Gwyll says, "So do I roll to attack again?".

Nox. pauses for a bit, but finally answers, "Okay, do the thing."
Gwyll says, "For fireballs...".
Gwyll pops the dice.
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 9

Nox. says, "No no, you just cast the spell!".
Nox. says, "You cast the spell and they gotta Save against spells.".
Gwyll says, "I did. Fireball spell".
Gwyll looks confused and looks over her sheet, "...right?"

Nox. says, "Yeah but you don't get to roll, they do.".
Nox. says, "You only roll when it's a basic attack or in very specific spells.".

Gwyll says, "So I just cast Fireball then.".
Baron von Nacht waves its wrench perilously close to Gwyll's head, "WAAAAAGH!"
Nox. says, "Yeah but you need to -cast- it Gwyll! Like the Glade spell!".
Nox. says, "C'me on I let slip the Maelstrom but the idea is that you -play- the game.".

Gwyll sighs, "Fine..." She hops back and lunges her staff forward, shouting in echo: "Fireball!"
Nox. rolls dice.
Baron von Nacht 's orc grips Gwyll's staff! He grins -uh, not that you'd see it under the gas mask- as he raises his wrench to break her skull, when suddenly the tip of staff catches on fire, and an explosion rips him to charred shreds! And a little bit more experience for the yellow bar.
Nox. says, "You want the Mine to detonate instantly? The Magic Mine you spent your action point in.".
Gwyll grins, then says, "Um...yes. Like a grenade."
Baron von Nacht 's other goons stare wide-eyed at the mine, that goes BOOM. The room starts shaking: vital machinery was blasted apart! The heat starts rising, and black smoke fills the entire chamber as the floor shakes!
Gwyll laughs, then blinks, "Wait oh shit. Go North!"
Baron von Nacht 's roof starts crumbling down on her!
Nox. says, "Roll for Agility, quick!".
Gwyll gives a panicked "GAH" and pops the dice
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 10
Gwyll quickly shouts out "TEN PLUS THREE IS THIRTEEN."

Nox. pauses, silent...
Nox. says, "...um... thirteen is.. ah... how can I say it...".

Gwyll blinks, stuck in movement limbo, "...How CAN you say it?"
Baron von Nacht 's entire fortress shakes, as a chain of explosions destroys the stone and metal foundations! Huge chunks of concrete fall around, and even though she dodges the falling debris, the impact cracks and breaks the stairs she's climbing...
Gwyll shouts, "Double dammit! DM KISS POWERS."
Baron von Nacht curses in his throne room.WIth the floor giving in below her, Gwyll can only look up as an enormous chunk of concrete fa--- whu?
Gwyll pauses the game, going meta and pulling Nox over by his collar to give him a kiss and a little nip on his ear.
Fafnir the Dragon swoops in shrouded in a storm of fire and AWESOME! Its mighty roar shatters the stone in a
BILLION pieces as it flies to catch Gwyll and pull her out of the crumbling fortress in the nick of time!

Gwyll rides ontop of Fafnir and gives an elated "WOOOO!"
Nox. only sort of semi-incounciously babbles all this, of course, completely stupidized by the kiss. Gwyll's yellow meter fills and goes green with a DING!
Gwyll grins at the bar, "Nox I did a thing."
Nox. says, "You went up a level... your Health and Mana return to maximum and you get 4 extra points of each... and you raise one stat by 1. It can be Stamina, Agiliy, Smarts or Ego. Also you can improve one of your powers or learn a new one.".
Gwyll says, "I want...to raise Smartism, and upgrade Maelstrom.".
Nox. notes that she would automatically feel more powerful. He's still staring off while smiling like an idiot.
Baron von Nacht has survived the explosion, though! As huge pieces of the building that were blown impossibly high keep raining around them, he appears, riding Brunhild, his copper-and-diamond mech-dragon! "GWYLL! You have destroyed mah beautiful base! You and your filzy beast shall PERISH for zis!"
Gwyll grins, "Oh, this is cool. I want to use my Ego to command Fafnir to corkscrew, then dive and breath fire."
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 4
Gwyll pops the dice, then groans, "Oh no...My ego's only 3..."

Nox. says, "So that's a total of 7...".
Fafnir the Dragon obeys no one! It charges headlong at the Baron and his mount, roaring!
Gwyll just hangs on for dear life, shouting through the charge, "CAN I ALSO ATTACK WHILE THIS IS HAPPENING?"
Baron von Nacht points his Magnastaff at them, "Brunhild, use your STOVE BREATH!" The enormous robot opens its bronze maw, its eyes glowing, as the heat of the forge burns within. From its mouth springs a burst of flame, straight at Fafnir and his rider!
Nox. rolls a lot of dice, "No, you spent your action trying to command Fafnir... "
Nox. says, "Okay, roll to Save against Death Ray!".
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 9
Gwyll groans.

Nox. says, "You spent all your good rolls trying to loot the dungeon, see?".
Nox. says, "Okay, try rubbing it on your left ear a bit and then roll again. That always works for me."

Gwyll makes a face...but does what he says and rerolls.
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 7
Gwyll says, "DAMMIT".

Nox. sounds amused, "Hm. I guess another bribe is in order... "
Gwyll leans across the table and kisses him again, a little fiercer.
Nox. purrs, pleased, returning it this time. "It was meant to be a kiss, not a bite!"
Gwyll grins, "Hush and roll."
Fafnir the Dragon reacts quickly, and covers himself and his rider from the fire with his wings. As the heat subsides, it opens them again, ready to strike at Gwyll's command.
Gwyll shouts out, "Dive straight at its chest! Bring it to the ground!"
Gwyll looks up at the rolling dice and punches up...!
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 15

Boretooth the fey squirrel stares in disbelief at them from Allegro's bedroom window. "What are you doing."
Gwyll yelps, looking to the window.
Gwyll says, "Boretooth! Shut up! You're ruining my immersion!".

Boretooth says, "Immersion? This has to be the dorkiest thing I've ever seen. You guys are dorks. Is that a dead bird on the table?".
Nox. waves an angry paw at the squirrel, "It's Great Dragon Fafnir!"
Nox. says, "And that's Gwyll riding on him.".

Boretooth 's brow arches up. "Yuck."
Gwyll says, "SHUT UP BORETOOTH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND JUST GO AWAY".
Boretooth rolls his eyes, "Jeez, whatever! I was just looking for panties, not a dork fest." He turns around to hop onto a branch, "Weirdos... " and scurries away.
Gwyll shakes her head, "The nerve of that guy!"
Nox. snaps his claws in front of her several times, "Gwyll, focus!"
Gwyll shakes her head sharply, "Right! 15!"
Fafnir the Dragon roars! And dives spinning to ram onto Brunhild, crashing against the steampunk drake in a malestrom of fangs and metal!
Baron von Nacht climbs onto Brunhild's head, and then jumps onto Fafnir. "GWYLL! Prepare ze anus for DESTRUCTION!"
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 11
Gwyll readies her staff, spinning it above her head, "Meteor Mash!!"

Baron von Nacht rolls 1d20: 14
Baron von Nacht raises his own Magnastaff, "SUPERNOVA!"

Nox. rolls dice, "The spells clash, it's a tie! You need to roll again!"
Gwyll says, "What, that can happen?".
Gwyll pops the dice again.
Gwyll rolls 1d20: 17

Nox. says, "Yeah you have to win by 5 or more, otherwise it's channeling rolls until one beats the other.".
Baron von Nacht rolls 1d20: 6
Gwyll gives a crowing laugh.
Baron von Nacht blinks, and is overpowered by ze meteors! The devastating spell also hits Brunhild's weak spot, utterly destroying her in a mesmerizing explosion!
Baron von Nacht lives, however! He clins to one of Fafnir's horns, his Magnastaff having fallen. His helmet has been blasted away - and as he looks up, his face is revealead for the first time: a dashing black cat, with a long, badass scar running through his right eye.
Baron von Nacht says, "GWYLL! Zis is not ze end! I will have my REVENGE!".

Gwyll laughs, "Oh c'mon that's not fair, Nox."
Nox. says, "What?".
Nox. smirks, "Later on there could be like a love story between the two. I'd make for fantastic role-playing."
Nox. says, "And post-gaming sessions too...".
Nox. says, "True lovers, pitted against each other in an eternal struggle for the future of the Faerie! It sounds great in my head.".

Gwyll laughs, "So I let him survive and risk him attacking again, or I shove him off the dragon and assure his death, knowing that he looks like you."
Nox. holds his paws up, "Whoa. I ain't got the scar. Yet."
Gwyll thinks, then makes her decision, "I kick him off."
Baron von Nacht is kicked on the face, once, twice before he lets go and falls to his doom, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo...... !"
Gwyll laughs, "...Except you'll never kill him off."
Nox says, "Hell no."
Fafnir the Dragon takes Gwyll back to Oberon's Citadel. However, as they approach, they see fire, and smoke...
Baron von Nacht 's army arrived first.
Gwyll says, "Oh dammit.".
Nox. closes the leather-bound book with a heavy thud. "And that's about enough for today."
Gwyll throws her arms up, "Oh what?!
Nox. grins, pocketing the traslucent, gem-like dice back into their old leather bag, "Mmhmm."
Nox. grins his fangy cheshire grin at her, "We can continue next week."

Gwyll says, "Nooooo.".
Nox. hops gracefully to sit on all fours on the tea-table, reaching out to poke gently at his forehead, "Yeeeeees."
Nox. says, "C'me on, my head needs some rest.".
Nox. then rubs his cheek against hers, purring lightly, "I told you you'd like it."

Gwyll groans, "This is torture to me."
Nox. says, "Don't be such a crybaby.".
Nox. bites her ear lightly, "There're other ways to pass the time... "

Gwyll frowns, "None that involve dice."
Nox. sighs, "I've created a monster..."
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